So much divides us, by choice or by force, into pigeon-holed, descriptive categories of trait or personality. Each of us carries around a List of Virtues: the things that are good about us; our storied accomplishments, compliments, and awards; all that we are proud of; or, more often, all that we think Others will find good and pleasing about us. A litany such as this may make us feel as though we are worthy of high regard from the Masses, or at the very least, justify a highly esteemed confidence of Self.
It’s all BULLSHIT.
Were we to sit down and compare our eloquently prepared brag sheets, we would spend but a few moments acknowledging all of the same boring words for the same boring qualities.
“Oh, you Work Hard and Play Hard? Me too! Look, you are Nice To Babies, I’m also Nice To Babies. You only kick mean puppies,? I put that down, too.”
What’s special about all that crap? Nothing. The quarks that make a person truly unique are the fucked up, weird little things we do WRONG. Nobody else in the world ever even thought of doing some of the strange shit you think and do, because they were probably too busy thinking and doing strange shit, themselves.
The way you swirl your tongue around in little figure-8s, only when drinking milk (just to check for congealed mucous-y stuff), tapping the bowl upside down on the counter right after taking it, fresh and clean, from the cupboard (just in case it got dusty), and , of course, no one else’s wiping technique is apt to render their nether regions quite as clean as the fold-swipe-crumble-tap-swirl combo you have perfected over the years.
What? Those things aren’t on YOUR list? Just me? See what I mean? I hope they at least inspired you to think about some odd items that might be on your own list of unique ‘vir-truths’. Come on, Something? I’m feeling a little out on a limb, here.
( WoW Disclaimer: This hypothetical sample may or may not contain actual autobiographical data, but was intended to illustrate an idea while allowing a feeling of openness to the reader, in order that they not perceive any feelings of judgment about the whacked out shit that they may do in secret.)
[WoW Disclaimer Disclaimer: The preceding disclaimer may or may not be full of shit. Please continue to enjoy the show responsibly.]
Words Of Wisdumbass not only acknowledges, but celebrates openly, this Dimwitted Twit we all can sometimes be. To keenly observe and point out the foibles of others via photo, video, text, or anecdote does not exclude Daddy Wisdumbass from being the butt of the joke, or sometimes the cause of the very strife I may be complaining about, but hopefully also a source of amusement to you. You are invited to be both audience and participant. Feel free to contribute your own findings, whether of others’ or your own imbecilic behavior, proving that none escape the Wisdumbass Creed…
“Unity Through Stupidity!”
These have been the Words Of Wisdumbass.